Contents of this article
- 1. Personalized signature funny sentences A complete collection of funny and humorous signature sentences
- 2. QQ personalized signature is funny and short
- 3. QQ personality signature humorous connotation
- 4. One sentence QQ personalized signature is sad
Personalized signature funny sentences Collection of funny and humorous signature sentences
Personalized signature funny sentences (classic)
1) Give yourself some confidence. Don’t make yourself right when someone else mentions being fat, because you may not be able to sit down.
2) Only those who can keep secrets can get more secrets.
3) I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like siblings. Looking back, I actually ran around naked for more than 20 years!
4) Don’t be afraid of opponents who are like gods, but be afraid of teammates who are like pigs.
5) I want to give a negative review to my future partner’s mother. The delivery was too slow and I haven’t received the baby yet.
6) I just like the way you look at me and you can’t kill me.
7) Every move you make, your voice, your appearance, your appearance, your voice, your appearance, all crash into my mind, leaving me with scars.
8) Marrying doesn’t have to be the person you love the most, but it must be the person who is most suitable for you.
9) The same person who holds a telescope is called a general on the battlefield, but becomes a gangster at home.
10) I am not a casual person, and I am not a casual person;
11) Delete all memories about you and disappear from my world.
12) Clouds want clothes and flowers want appearance, pigs want to be fat and people want to be popular.
13) Why are you up so early? The bar hasn’t opened yet!
14) Why did we break up? Because we were tired of it.
15) My class has two plastic bags, and they fill them all day long.
Funny sentences with personalized signatures (popular articles)
1) Being too attentive to others will only speed up their boredom with you.
2) A man's biggest failure is to give up the opportunity to make his woman laugh to others.
3) Hear nothing outside the window and only focus on reading e-books
4) The hooligans are not scary, but the hooligans are educated.
5) What are you afraid of? I won’t hit you. I am a very easy-going person. Just throw him away.
6) The story of Snow White tells us that no matter how nice the seven losers are to her, they can’t compare to a kiss from the rich and handsome man.
7) Some people take exams by strength, while some people take exams by eyesight.
8) I love you so beautifully, time knows it
9) How to support your many lovers without learning.
10) I want to become your eyes because then you won’t be afraid of the coming of the night.
11) Sometimes, it’s your own feelings that deceive yourself.
12) When I call you master, you think you are instant noodles
13) The left side of the head is filled with flour and the right side is filled with water. Whenever I think about a problem, my head is full of paste.
14) Looking back suddenly, why haven’t you left yet?
15) If you are handsome and have a rook, that is chess. the one with money and house, that's the bank
16) If you need consultation or advice, we will provide it free of charge; if you need the correct answer, please pay additionally.
17) To subvert the world in a cool way, the mischief must be thorough, the destruction must be powerful, get into trouble and steal patents, pretend to be good and use stunts, make people look good, and be fooled depends on fate.
18) Even if I have no money after you die, even if I pick up scraps and sell them for money, I will still install a WiFi for you in front of your grave!
19) Teacher’s laziness! Well, I’m really good at learning the Three-Character Classic
20) The zoo built a special eight-foot-high wall for the newly introduced kangaroos.
Personalized signature funny sentences (latest article)
1) Mom, how high is the sky! The daughter-in-law was also humorous, so she answered: Mom’s buttocks are as high as mine.
2) It seems that you are a complete loser, just a loser, just a loser.
3) True love is a kind of spiritual enjoyment, rather than exchanging love for each other’s luxuries
4) On the road of love, I always stop and go. My mother said that my legs and feet are weak.
5) Half of the world is laughing at the other half, but actually the whole world is a fool
6) Dream and anything is possible.
7) As I fell asleep, I felt that I was incredibly beautiful, and then I couldn’t sleep anymore.
8) In fact, I am just afraid that my enthusiasm will make your love cold.
9) What can I do to kill you, my love?
10) The latest incisive and humorous words: Does being able to eat well count as a superpower?
11) It is difficult for a rich man to be a man without money
12) Don’t be a simply excellent person, but be an irreplaceable person.
13) I understand that in the end, the only one accompanying me is myself.
14) The hooligans are not scary, but the hooligans are educated.
15) A good woman is like gasoline, once she has it, she will have power; a bad woman is like an air bag, once she uses it, there will be a crisis.
17) If the teacher hadn't told you not to litter, I would have thrown you out a long time ago.
18) Silence is gold, floating bath is fire, tolerance is water, clumsiness is wood, who is old-fashioned?
19) Men should have special skills, women should stand out, and both men and women should have individuality. There are more and more people with individuality.
20) For children taking the college entrance examination, this summer is destined to be extraordinary. Wish us good results in the exam
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QQ signature funny sentences humorous personalized signature
QQ signature funny sentences (classic)
1) Woman, if you are successful, you will be your sister-in-law; if you are not successful, you will be your sister-in-law.
2) Living in this fucked-up era, you have to have a fuck-your-girl mentality in everything.
3) As long as you can dance well with a hoe, can you dig a corner?
4) I turn on the TV to watch commercials, why should I be shown a TV show?
5) You will naturally become dull when you stay at home for a long time, and you will naturally become cute when you stay at home for a long time.
6) It is said that the characters in "Xuan Wu" have good figures. Let me tell you, if you jump around like that every day, you will also lose weight.
7) A person who doesn’t like to get angry is often the scariest person when he gets angry!
8) A hero becomes angry for a beauty, and a beauty smiles for money.
9) The mining disaster continues under review, and property prices rise under control!
10) I need to gain weight so that I can have the strength to bear the pain you have given me.
11) What comes in time is not to fight for your own happiness, but to start over
12) ╰︶￣We have grown up and become a little scary.
13) Valentine’s Day, it’s still the same, let’s talk about it when we’re drunk. When you wake up, Valentine's Day is over.
14) The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I used them to roll my eyes.
15) During class, someone passed a note, and when I saw the content, I really wanted to slap him. . What is written is: Are you there?
16) I don’t want to teach you how to cherish by leaving.
17) Everyone betrayed me. The only person who didn't betray me, I betrayed him.
18) If you fall, stand up and then fall down again in a good-looking position.
19) Love can’t be divided, hate can’t be trusted too easily.
20) Women are made of water, men are made of mud, and both Li Junji and Li Yuchun are made of cement.
QQ signature funny sentences (popular articles)
1) When the scorching sun gradually fades away, the night falls when the neon lights flash. How can we prove our presence in this city?
2) I skipped too many classes. One day I wanted to go to class. When I saw the professor, he was surprised and said that he had grown so much after not seeing him for such a long time.
3) The nights before school starts. . . Thousands of lights!
4) You are in trouble, you are in big trouble.
5) If you don’t admit defeat and don’t give up, you will live forever.
6) Your shooting performance is so bad. If I were you, I would kill myself immediately, just in case you want to bring more bullets.
7) Only by complicating things can we reflect our working ability!
8) The first guy to know that milk is drinkable, what did you do to the cow.
9) Never hang yourself from a tree. Try hanging from the surrounding trees several times.
10) If you knew that I would stop running around and promise you a good life, would you curl up your lips and love me?
11) Don’t say I’m arrogant, it’s just that I refuse to deal with animals!
12) The most romantic thing I can think of is to watch you grow old alone.
13) Only when you have been drunk can you know that you are stupid, and only when you have been in love can you know what a fool is.
14) The poor nun once looked back and smiled, which fascinated the abbot.
15) Chinese Valentine's Day is the day when the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl go on a date. What kind of fun do you two have to do together?
16) Who says money can’t buy time? Network administrator, add two dollars! Who says money can’t buy knowledge? Teacher, this is my tuition! Who says money can’t buy love? Mother-in-law, this is my gift!
17) The color of the money in your pocket determines your mood today.
18) If you want something, don’t just expect it. Life is short and you can’t afford to wait.
19) Those two things on your face are light bulbs?! You are not plugged in at night! You are blind!
20) When I was a child, I lived in a rural primary school. One day, a rural woman in rustic clothes stood at the door of the classroom. The teacher asked her who she was looking for. She said she was sending a few kilograms of rice to her second baby. The teacher turned around and asked: Who is the second baby? The classroom was extremely quiet. The teacher said angrily: A dog doesn't think the family is poor, and a son doesn't think the mother is ugly! Then the principal who was listening to the class stood up, walked out of the classroom and took the rice. . .
QQ signature funny sentences (latest article)
1) I gave the spring to you, the summer to me, your love to me, and my heart to you, wishing that I would live forever.
2) After studying for more than ten years, I think kindergarten is easier to get along with.
3) Some women wear stockings to look good. There are also some women who wear stockings, which shows that the stockings are of good quality.
4) The function of school is to not let you do whatever you want to do.
5) Go the route of bull B and let the fool speak.
6) As a typical failure, I am actually very successful
7) Yesterday I participated in a pigeon releasing competition. As a result, I was the only one in the competition.
8) Never propose to me, I will say yes once you do.
9) Your parents should use those ten minutes for a walk!
10) Sorry, the user you dialed is married.
11) A rich man shows his love for you by how much time he spends with you, while a poor man shows how much he spends for you.
12) There are more and more monsters in the world, and Tang Monk is getting less and less.
13) The art of self-cultivation is actually the art of lying.
14) I believe that with the moon as proof, our love will last forever. I will never leave you, just like the moon never leaves the earth.
15) People searched for her thousands of times, but suddenly looking back, that person still looked down upon me. . .
16) Mosquitoes, born for my blood. I live to kill mosquitoes.
17) I'm not the kind of person who adds insult to injury. I just seal the well.
18) When two men chase a woman, the one who is less affectionate will give up first! When two women chase one man, the one who is more affectionate will give up first.
19) When you have money, money is worthless; when you have no money, people are worthless!
20) Are you showing off too much or are you not wearing any underwear at all?
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QQ chat funny sentences QQ humorous personality signature
Funny sentences in QQ chat (classic)
1) There was gold under the man’s knee. I cut off the entire leg and couldn’t find even a piece of copper!
2) Talking about money doesn’t hurt feelings, but talking about feelings hurts money the most.
3) Today is Children’s Day. I wish you always have a childlike heart and be happy every day!
4) Only when you have concerns in your heart will your life be strong.
5) Be a gangster with temperament, a pervert with taste, and an illiterate with knowledge!
6) For synchronized diving in China, the daughter-in-law and the mother should be the best partners, because for decades, they always fall into the water at the same time.
7) As long as you think about what you will eat tomorrow, your life will be full of hope.
8) Your parents help you deposit your New Year’s money in the bank. Children who have been fooled raise their hands
9) You are really trying to shake the tree, how easy is it?
10) Holding a kitchen knife in hand to cut the wires, sparks and lightning along the way.
11) Don’t give me that Mona Lisa smile of yours, me. . . I really want to shave your eyebrows. . . . .
12) The beauty in the KTV said I was handsome, so I smiled and told her that she should have her eyes fixed.
13) I always feel that I have always been strong. Only after crying do I realize how important you are in my heart.
14) Be happy while you are alive, because we will be dead for a long time.
15) I have always naively thought that naked marriage means getting married without clothes.
16) I cut a bitter melon open today, and it actually smiled at me, so much so that I couldn’t bear to eat it!
17) We promised to grow old together, but you secretly baked it.
18) How many times have I looked back just to take one more look at you, but I don’t care about it anymore
19) The factors that can change a person are nothing more than species: faith, money, true love.
20) Don’t arm yourself with sophistication, it will not adapt to the environment.
Funny sentences for QQ chat (popular articles)
1) A true warrior must dare to look at beautiful girls and face the bleak single life.
2) Eyes are the windows to the soul, and bags under the eyes are the window sill of the soul.
3) I like pink.
4) Adults always say, don’t talk to me about money, because talking about money hurts feelings. I just want to say, don’t talk to me about the start of school. Talking about the start of school will hurt your feelings.
5) Diaosi will eventually counterattack, and fungus will never regain its fans.
6) No matter how the wheel of history rolls forward, I, the Third Ring Road Traffic, will not move at all.
7) Night attack on the Widow Village - -!
8) I lowered my head and remained silent, not because I was humble, but because I was looking for bricks.
9) Don’t give me that Mona Lisa smile of yours, me. . . I really want to shave your eyebrows. . . . .
10) The teacher said that my Chinese language was taught by my school teacher
11) I think it’s a hooligan behavior for a girl to say she’s cold when she’s alone!
12) Go your own way and let others take a taxi.
13) Forgive me, I’m just a passerby on Singles’ Day.
14) Men are not bad, women do not love them, and men are not lustful, they are just for decoration.
15) Do you know who the person I have always liked is? If you don’t know, please go back and read the first word I wrote.
16) I have always been a brooding person with deep dark circles and bags under my eyes.
17) I want to share anything with you because I will never find another woman who is right for me except you.
18) He sent me a string of English sdadjssadbhasjkccdxectbyuiopgfds. I asked him what he meant, and he said it was nothing. The keyboard was dirty, so I wiped it.
19) [After watching You from the Star, I suddenly wanted to see if my neighbor was an alien]
20) There is no grass anywhere in the world, why should we have unrequited love for a grass?
Funny sentences for QQ chat (latest article)
1) What makes people crazier than falling in love is falling out of love.
2) I can’t forget the hurt I’ve suffered because my heart keeps bleeding.
3) A classmate put up a Kongming lantern at night with the words: Final exam passed, result. . . Hanging high on the tree. . .
4) The mountain cannon is what you are, but you are more decent than the mountain cannon. Fear of the future, do not read in the past. If it is for sleeping, both can be thrown away!
5) On a whim, I used your photo as my desktop, and F*ck it got infected by a computer virus.
6) Just because I looked at you one more time in the crowd, I became blind later.
7) When others start to take the unconventional path, I have already started to take the path that is not taken by others.
8) Those who open G: It’s great to open G for a while! Family Crematorium!!!
9) Big Big Wolf said: No matter what, you can’t wrong my wife!
10) If you don’t get angry with some people, they will never know what it means to go too far.
11) He must be the best among scum and the best among beasts. Look, your little face is so thin that you don’t even look like a pig!
12) While you are looking for a lover, don’t slack off your wife.
13) There are so many channels for New Year’s Eve concerts, I really don’t know which one to watch.
14) Things can change my heart forever, you are the only unchanging thing in my life! Loving you is the most magnificent contribution in my life, and it is my choice without regrets!
15) When I think about the start of school, I feel the pain of the Wenchuan earthquake and the Zhouqu mudslide!
16) How many classmates, even in summer, the quilt on the bed is still very thick, because we don’t cover them, we just sleep on them.
17) We always care about the people we like, but forget the people who like us.
18) I’m going to hit the teacher with my homework! Stop making trouble. It sounds like you can move it.
19) When you are confused, just think that you are in China, and everything will suddenly become clear.
20) Brother, do you want to attract bees by dressing so fancy?
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Sentences about funny signatures Sentences about funny signatures
Selection of funny signature sentences
1) It’s so classic now, but so thrilling in the past.
2) Life is a meal and you are just a dish.
3) Now I don’t even believe the punctuation of what you are saying.
4) I like your personality, but not your gender.
5) Just tell me if you care about me, it’s so hard on your heart.
6) You will be caught sooner or later if you do bad things, so do it at noon.
7) A confident woman is not necessarily beautiful, such as Sister Feng.
8) I heard that you are very thin-skinned recently, so thin that you are almost gone?
9) Hard-working people can only afford to eat in this world. Hell's work.
10) In the days when there are no women, I enjoy teasing men!
A collection of funny signature sentences
1) Learning is endless, so I have never graduated.
2) Roar when you see Buyi on the road, and continue to move forward after roaring.
3) Sanitary napkins are so expensive, can we still afford them?
4) In those years, we were as poor as grandsons, but as happy as grandpas.
5) Fatty, why are you always so persistent with me?
6) You are not a reusable bag, don’t keep filling it and filling it and filling it.
7) After all, I am already so ugly. Can you please make your grades more beautiful?
8) I shine in this beautiful moment as a god. No mortals can disturb me.
9) I don’t have many advantages. My biggest advantage is that I am a good person.
10) Yes, this is me, a pure natural boy without pollution.
11) God has not particularly favored me, nor has he abandoned me. He is just playing tricks on me.
12) It’s really hard for you. Your appearance has exceeded human imagination.
13) There is a kind of longing that makes you forget to wear autumn water, and there is a kind of cold that makes you forget to wear autumn trousers.
14) What does it feel like to be short? Everyone can’t lift their head when they see me.
15) Anything that lasts a lifetime is not called love, it is just called happy cooperation.
16) Don’t ask me how my exam went, all I can say is that it was burnt.
17) Even if the strong wind turns the whole city upside down, we still have to go to school at 7:10.
18) I feel like I lack nothing. But when I think about it carefully, I don’t have anything.
19) Look at your appearance, you look like you are joking!
20) Once you learn how to break things, you will find that the world suddenly becomes clearer.
21) If I hadn’t persuaded myself, I would have fallen out with the world long ago.
22) I searched thousands of times for her, but when I looked back, that person still looked down upon me.
23) Why do you call me a liar? Have you ever seen a liar look so safe?
24) Please remember that I am a cold person. Please do not be fooled by my frequent madness.
25) Top students drive speedboats in the ocean of knowledge, while I feed the sharks in the ocean of knowledge.
26) I fell in love with you because my brain was filled with water, but now my brain is dry.
27) Ever since I set the alarm clock to worry, I have been crawling out of bed every day and have never been late.
28) Don’t rush to write down your name when you get the test paper. Kiss it first. This is called kissing and steady passing.
29) The so-called review means to confirm again what you don’t know that you really don’t know.
30) Although he is obviously a P, he likes to play handstands and pretends to be a B.
31) Top students show off their grades, goddesses show off their figures, foodies show off their snacks, rich people show off their wealth, and I show off my smiling face.
32) It’s not good that you don’t like me. You probably have a strange disease and it needs to be cured, and it must be cured.
33) When you can’t continue reading, take out a mirror and say silently: You’ve grown up like this and still don’t study well.
34) If you liked me and treated me well when I was fat, I will definitely repay you when I lose weight.
35) Eating is what I want; being thin is also what I want; I can’t have both, wait until I finish eating.
36) Love is a kind of amnesia that makes people forget that there are 1.2 billion other people of the opposite sex in this world.
37) Raise your head just to keep the snot from your nose. He lowered his head just to wipe his nose so that no one would see him.
38) Teacher: Do you know why we have to take geography class? Xiao Ming: Because there is no natural reason. Teacher: Get out.
39) If you are willing to pick apart my homework layer by layer, you will feel sad and surprised that there is nothing written on this page or that page.
40) Oil - can't afford it; road - can't walk; school - can't afford it; illness - can't afford it; house - can't afford it; tomb - death. That we're still alive - amazing.
QQ personalized signature funny and humorous short
QQ personality signature funny humor
Brother has a sister in his heart, don't seduce him, or be careful of his sister fucking you. The following are the funny and humorous QQ personality signatures that I recommend. I hope you all like them.
QQ personality signature funny humor selection
1) Anyone who speaks ill of me behind my back, I will kill you mercifully
2) Children who don’t want to start school are all good children, which proves that they have no partners in school
3) A woman’s beauty is not as beautiful as her life.
4) It’s April Fool’s Day on Monday, and the teacher actually asked us to go to class! The more we think about it, something is wrong, no! We can’t be fooled!
5) Fools are paying, liars are enjoying.
6) Roll call in class! The roommate hurriedly called his roommate and said: Come on, the teacher is calling roll. The roommate calmly said: Turn on the speakerphone.
7) The teacher handed out papers, and the girl behind took an extra one and shouted, "Teacher, I have it, I have it." Then the boy sitting next to him said, "It's mine, it's mine."
8) zgg: Why does Tencent only launch urban experts and not rural experts? Why is it discriminating against rural people?
9) When there is a second-rate person around you, you have to be second-rate
10) Save the money you spend on smoking to buy sweets for your wife. . .
QQ personality signature funny humor collection
1) Valentine’s Day is a holiday for those who are bored and have a hard time.
2) Little Sunflower's mother's class has started. If the child keeps masturbating and refuses to ejaculate, he is probably dead. Just cut it off.
3) How many babies have been deceived by their elders: finish your meal or you will be hacked to death by Uncle Lei! Your dad and I picked you up next to the trash can!
4) I really want to live my life in a movie. The next scene is a line of subtitles: Many years later.
5) In the beginning (first night) of human beings, nature is good.
6) Your wedding has nothing to do with me, I am only interested in your funeral.
7) Men are dumped, money problems, women are dumped, appearance problems, labor problems, there is something wrong with your brain
8) These lessons are like Nanfu batteries, one lesson is longer than 6 lessons.
9) A person will meet about 29.2 million people in his lifetime. The probability of two people falling in love is 0.000049, so if you don’t love me, I don’t blame you.
10) Cherish the friend who often stays up late; because you don’t know which day he will die.
11) The teacher said: After being a teacher for so many years, I have never seen any students. I laughed: You don’t even think about how many years we have been in school, and we have never seen anything.
12) Once upon a time there was an ice that melted while walking.
13) I don’t like anyone to be near you except me, your mother.
14) Decadence is courage, laziness is resistance, emptiness is sexy, scolding you is my patent.
15) The most unreliable thing I have ever done is falling in love with you
16) How many students, even in summer, the quilt on the bed is still very thick, because we don’t cover it, we just sleep on it
17) I remember the most domineering sentence when I was a child: "Just wait for me."
18) If iPartment 4 doesn’t air, we will start school.
19) God gave me a low-key face, but it can’t hide that I have a heart that can win.
20) A note was passed to me at the desk behind me during class: Are you there? I was stunned and replied: It’s not me!
QQ personality signature funny and humorous excerpts
1) To explain is to cover up, to cover up is to be dishonest, and to be dishonest is to be dishonest~!
2) Never believe in love at first sight, it’s not the love, it’s the face.
3) My biggest wish is: the school collapses, the teacher goes crazy, the homework belongs to others, but you are mine,
4) What I hate the most is when someone tells me north, south, south, east, and west! Damn, you can’t tell me left and right when giving directions.
5) People live in Xiaoqiaoliushui, canteen prices are rising again, classmates are starving to death, the sun is setting, Mom, I want to go home.
6) You exist in my aunt’s mind, in my brother’s dream, in my brother’s heart, and in my brother’s body
7) Kiss her and fall in love with her
8) Not to mention Big Wolf hasn’t eaten a sheep in five years, Tom hasn’t eaten a mouse since 1940!
9) It is recommended that the country replace the chairs used in class with swivel chairs like those used in The Voice of China, so that students can turn around and listen if they think the teacher speaks well.
10) Stay away from school! Cherish life!
11) Love can’t wait, so pursue it while you are young and beautiful now.
12) I sincerely hope that grandma will get well soon.
13) Life is like Angry Birds. When you fail, there are always a few pigs laughing.
14) The animation "Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf" contains domestic violence, puppy love, bullying of the weak, deception...has it ruined the flowers of the motherland?
15) My family is poor and has no money to buy medicine to treat illnesses.
16) Being narcissistic and mentally retarded is self-harm.
17) Slut, don’t think that just because you’re wearing a short skirt and twerking in front of me, I’m going to have sex with you. Save it! My wife is waiting for me at home!
18) I once thought that an umbrella could be used as a parachute, and then I tried it myself. . . . . . The umbrella is broken
19) The index finger means you and the middle finger means fuck. Suddenly I understand why so many people like to do scissorhands.
20) My heart is not big, but it can still accommodate you.
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QQ personality signature humorous connotation
1. The effect of contraception: If it fails, you will become an adult.
2. Actually, I am not fat, I am just too lazy to lose weight.
3. It’s time to buy a ticket to heaven and have a good talk with Yue Lao.
4. Don’t smile at your sister. She will lose her pretense when she smiles.
5. These days, women are becoming more and more masculine, men are becoming more and more feminine, children are becoming more and more mature, but adults are starting to pretend to be innocent.
6. In the next life, you will be your enemy’s wife and spend all his money to get revenge on him.
7. Suddenly I miss my partner so much. I don’t know whether he has eaten, whether he is busy, how old he is, and what his name is.
8. I want stable scores, can withstand the cruelty of exams, and have a destination among the piles of top students.
9. I won’t cry for you, my mascara is too expensive.
10. Don’t smile with your mouth wide open, otherwise you won’t have dimples.
11. Loving someone is so difficult, but giving up on someone is so easy.
12. My heart is so broken that it looks like dumpling stuffing when I hold it out.
13. Don’t use honey traps on me, otherwise I will take advantage of you.
14. If the teacher hadn’t told you not to throw away garbage, I would have thrown you out long ago.
15. Give me an atomic bomb and I will send a mushroom cloud to Japan.
16. You may not fall in love over time, but you will definitely have children.
17. Some classes are like Nanfu Battery, one class is longer than the other.
18. You have the nerve to lie to me, but I don’t believe it.
19. Grades, you are a bitch, always sowing trouble between my parents and me.
20. Money is useless in my hands, like garbage, but I used it to buy the humblest love.
21. You are my cup of tea, but I never drink tea.
22. When you marry a chicken, follow the chicken; when you marry a dog, follow the dog; when you marry, the monkeys run all over the mountain; when you marry me, I treat you to roast goose!
23. Men who change women more frequently than sanitary napkins will sooner or later have menstrual cramps.
24. Love does not hurt others, people hurt themselves. Love does not do evil, people do evil. If God doesn't play tricks on people, God will show off his brains.
25. The only thing I can hold but cannot put down is chopsticks.
26. I don’t want to fuck you. I want to come from behind.
27. Fahai should not use the tower to suppress Bai Suzhen, he should suppress Gong Linna.
28. Speechless, the judge asked: Why did you print counterfeit money? The criminal said: I can’t print real money.
29. Don’t always make excuses for your beautiful face. The beauty is not outstanding and the ugly is not novel.
30. For men, the upper body is cultivation and the lower body is essence; for women, the upper body is bait and the lower body is trap.
31. If God gives me another chance to be reborn, I must choose to be in the Tang Dynasty, so that I don’t have to learn English or lose weight.
32. A woman who can only cry is a waste, and a woman who cannot cry is a monster.
33. After I die, please install a wireless router on my grave. Thank you.
34. This person is so unlucky that he can scare himself even if he sneezes, and even electrocute himself half to death if he takes off his sweater.
35. Your face reminds me of a word, it’s called do whatever you want.
36. The more someone likes you, the more childish actions they will make towards you.
37. National Day goes by too fast, like a tornado, and I don’t even have time to write my homework.
38. It is your obligation to educate us, and it is our right not to be educated!
39. If you ask me how deeply I love you, money can represent my heart.
40. Life is like a pressure cooker. You'll get used to it when you're under too much pressure.
41. Other people’s stomachs are called stomachs, and mine are called stomach plus.
42. We promised not to separate, but to be together all the time.
43. I love that boy who has strong shoulders and only allows me to rely on him.
44. I have already decided the wedding day, now I have to choose the groom.
45. My boyfriend only needs to treat me as the only one.
46. The best wishes are not written on the greeting card, but in the notes column of the transfer.
47. Superman always wears briefs when flying because the triangle provides stability.
48. If you say ten sentences to me without using curse words, it only means that you are not familiar with me.
49. A woman who can’t forget her is the most despicable, and a man who can’t forget his old love is the most disgusting.
50. There is no cold man in the world, but he is not the one who warms you.
51. The most painful thing in the world is to be woken up by peeing from an erotic dream.
52. A day is actually very short. It passes as soon as the computer is turned on and off.
53. The teachers of various subjects really feel that they teach well even though the monthly exams do not reveal their skills.
54. Have you been thrown up three times since you were born, but only caught twice?
55. If the teacher hadn’t told you not to litter, I would have thrown you out.
56. My ex got married again today. I wish him happiness every year and happiness every year.
57. If your high school classmate was sitting at a KTV and you happened to meet her, what would you do? I will point her out.
58. I curse you for buying instant noodles without seasoning packets all your life.
59. Some girls look from behind and want to commit a crime; when they look from the side, they want to retreat; when they look from the front, they want to defend themselves.
60. Play seriously when you play, and sleep seriously when you study. Is this the same for you?
61. It’s okay to have acne, it’s just your cute bubbling.
62. If you have chosen to go against me, please don’t look back.
63. Underwear is like knowledge, invisible but important.
64. Who do you think you are? You are just the water that is thrown away, I don’t even want a basin.
65. Happiness is when you wake up every morning and look at your watch, and you can still sleep for another half hour.
66. Everything this year is abnormal, except Chinese football.
67. A faint glance is your serious commitment. A quiet moment is all my life. I don’t want to leave you.
68. Have you ever remembered that Heimi’s brother who lived and died by the Daming Lake and refused to go on a mission?
69. The so-called successful woman is: she is awesome during the day and awesome at night.
70. If you like his money, it will be yours when the time comes. You have to strike while the iron is hot, and you have to make money while you have love!
71. Everyone says I’m ugly, but in fact I’m just not obviously beautiful.
72. On the first day of school, there are always a bunch of people dressed like they are going on a blind date.
73. I want someone to hold my hand, whether it is ordinary or vigorous, we can walk together.
74. I am not the jasmine honey tea you bought. I don’t have another good chance.
75. Come here, there are three words that have been hidden in my heart for a long time. Can you get away?
76. Choose someone who makes you happy to spend the rest of your life with, not someone you have to work hard to please.
77. Secret love is a kind of politeness, narcissism is a kind of pride, and open love is a style. Not being in love is a taste.
78. It doesn’t matter if your head is empty, the key is not to get wet.
79. After the teacher finished the lesson, he said: Is there anything else you don’t understand? I stretched and said, "Teacher, what kind of lesson is this?"
80. In fact, I am a genius, but it is a pity that God is jealous of talents!
81. I don’t like to sleep with one woman many times, but I like to sleep with many women only once.
82. Weigh yourself every time. When you lose weight, say to yourself: Lose weight. When it gets heavier, say to yourself: The breasts are big.
83. They say that melons that are eaten by force are not sweet, but I like to eat bitter melons.
84. A good friend is probably like, you are a psychopath, I don’t want to be a psychopath with you, but I will give you medicine regularly.
85. I saw a beautiful woman on the street today. When I got closer, I saw that it was a mirror.
86. Those encounters like fireworks are just a prosperous moment. Maybe, some things are already doomed.
87. Flowers don’t bloom for anyone, but they can bloom for themselves. The world doesn’t exist for anyone, but it can also exist for themselves.
88. I turned her from a girl into a woman; she turned me from a boy into a poor man.
89. I fought against fat and almost lost my life.
90. What is a class teacher: He is a person who destroys your friendship and then your love and still doesn’t let go of your family ties.
91. I remember that a few years ago, single people were said to be noble, but in recent years, they have turned into dogs.
92. How many generations of climbing and struggle does it take to get from this world to that world?
93. Making money is a kind of ability, spending money is a kind of skill. My ability is limited, but my skill is very high.
94. I have liked you for a long time, and I have been waiting for you for a long time. Now, I want to leave, even longer than a long, long time.
95. If you feel nauseous and retching while brushing your teeth, don’t brush your teeth in front of the mirror.
96. I hope to fall in love for seven years, stay together for fifty years, and proudly talk about our love to our children and grandchildren.
97. I don’t know if you are willing to be the person I love the most.
98. After I came to this world, it is impossible for me to come back alive.
99. My dream: Be a secretary when I have something to do, and be a secretary when I have nothing to do. The reality is: I can’t be a secretary if there’s something wrong, and I can’t be a secretary if there’s nothing wrong.
100. Principal, if the air conditioner is in good condition, it will be sunny; if it is not in good condition, be careful when going out at night!
QQ humorous personality signature
1. Let me tell you that a friend’s husband’s surname is Zhou and her surname is Xia. The couple discussed the name of their future baby. The wife first thought of a name called “Monday”. After hearing this, the husband said that the name is good and has continuity. It can be done in one breath. Seven children were born, from "Monday" to "Saturday". At this time, my wife asked what should I do if an eighth child was born? My husband said that the eighth day is called "Summer Monday" (next Monday).
2. Some people envy other people's love, just like they envy other people's clothes, and wish they could buy something exactly the same to wear. Please don't think like this, you don't know what it feels like to wear that seemingly beautiful dress. Maybe it was so tight that she was suffocating, maybe she had been starved for five years just to wear that dress, maybe the fabric made her itchy and rashy. You are not the one wearing it, you don’t know.
3. A newly divorced man told his friend the reason why he did not remarry: "I already have a dog, a cat and a myna, that's enough." "But how can I replace my wife?" asked the friend. The man replied: "Absolutely! My dog can growl all day, myna can curse all day, and my cat can stay up all night!"
4. The three of them brag about whose wife is the thinnest. Dui: "My wife's scarf can be worn as clothes." Agua was dissatisfied: "My wife accidentally fell into the sewer while taking a bath." Ahua said calmly: "My wife swallowed an almond, and everyone thought she was pregnant."
5. Appreciation of the most incisive riddles of the year: The second wife returned to her parents’ home... and returned it without justice! A group of eunuchs have a meeting and talk about nothing; A woman has been divorced many times and her ex-husband has abandoned her; A man is running around naked...playing a fool; A woman is running around naked...it comes out of nowhere; A child is running around naked...the future is long; An old man is running around naked...and he will live forever; The whole of China is engaged in family planning (get a health product) Chinese Turtle Essence; The difference between men and women (as the saying goes) is less than what is better than what is above, but more than what is below.
6. When I have a wedding banquet on the day of my wedding, I will put my husband’s ex-girlfriends at a table alone, and then I will toast them one by one. Thank you for spending the most beautiful years with him in his most empty childhood. Now that he has grown up, he finally knows how to distinguish between good and bad, and what kind of woman he needs.
7. An official says: I am honest; a star says: I am innocent; an urban management officer says: I am kind; a rich man says: I pay taxes; a mistress says: I am self-reliant; a director says: I am serious; a teacher says: I am noble; a policeman says: I am impartial. ; Mobile said: I am honest; banks said: I follow the rules; PetroChina said: I am losing money; hospitals said: I treat diseases; courts said: I am fair; people said: it's all nonsense.
8. When I went home yesterday, I met a teenage girl on the road. When he saw the boy on the road, he chased him and shouted: "Please marry me!" I watched by myself. Suddenly a young woman rushed out and took the girl away. As she walked, she said, "Even if you get married, you still have to go to school."
9. Once, while my roommate in the dormitory was taking a shower, I changed the girlfriend’s number saved in his cell phone to mine. I then sent him a text message “Hubby, I’m pregnant” while lying in bed at night. I saw that guy suddenly turned over and got out of bed, smoked a pack of cigarettes, and asked the dormitory person to borrow money...
10. A man went to work the day after his wedding and was unhappy at work. When a friend asked him why, the man said: I was used to prostitution in the past. After I finished with my wife last night, I threw 100 yuan to her. The friend said relievedly: It doesn't matter if you give her money! The man said angrily: The problem is that she found me 20------
11. Some people sell their wisdom, some people sell their time, some people sell their labor, some people sell their relationships, some people sell their bodies, and some people sell their morality. If you want to make some money, you must sell a little of what you own, so "making more money" and "living yourself" are completely opposite. Going to any extreme will make your life troubled. The most comfortable life is to find balance. point.
12. I want to cry, I want to make trouble, stay up all night, holding a bottle of sleeping pills and a small rope in my hand to hang myself. No matter how ugly you are, you still have to fall in love and the world is full of love.
13. My wife’s cooking is terrible, but she likes it very much. One day I couldn’t stand it anymore and asked, “Why do you like cooking so much?” My wife said, “People say that if you want to get someone, you have to get that person. Stomach." I said, "Then why do you make it so unpalatable?" My wife slapped the table angrily: "I would rather destroy it if I can't get it!"
14. My English was not good in junior high school, so the teacher gave me a female deskmate who was good at English. One day in a self-study class, I had an impression of "hunband" when I was looking at some words, but I wasn't sure about it, so I asked my deskmate about the word: "Wife?" "No, husband." I always thought it was my wife, so I fell in love with her. : "Wife!" Not to be outdone, she said: "Husband!" "Wife!" "Husband!" the voice got louder. After shouting for 2 minutes, I found that the classroom suddenly became quiet...
15. These days, all I worry about is sexual intercourse! Men are worried about their private houses, women are worried about their breasts, old people are worried about their hearts, college students are worried about having a house, working people are worried about renting a house, people who are hospitalized are worried about the ward, those who are giving birth are worried about the delivery room, those who are getting married are worried about a new house, ordinary people are worried about housing allocation, ordinary people are worried about housing, and producers are worried about the box office. , the rich worry about the second wife, and the bad people worry about the second wife.
16. Dan went fishing with his mother at the lake. After returning home, Dandan quickly wrote the diary: "Today my mother and I went fishing at the lake. We caught a big fish weighing 2 pounds. We are very happy." Her mother felt that her daughter's writing was too simple and she was angry. Said, "Write more!" Dandan lowered his head and thought for a moment, then changed the diary to: "Today my mother and I went fishing at the lake, and we caught a big fish weighing 5 kilograms."
17. Sometimes I really want to fuck about the house and car, fuck the three insurances and one housing fund, fuck get married and have children, fuck work and entertainment, fuck the household registration and residence certificate. Love somewhere, love someone, go out, walk a long way, meet a lot of people, give a lot of love, and finally, with a cry of Gabelle, die in a foreign land, and the tombstone is engraved: This guy went to another world to continue to be awesome. Already…
18. Dan went fishing with his mother at the lake. After returning home, Dandan quickly wrote the diary: "Today my mother and I went fishing at the lake. We caught a big fish weighing 2 pounds. We are very happy." Her mother felt that her daughter's writing was too simple and she was angry. Said, "Write more!" Dandan lowered his head and thought for a moment, then changed the diary to: "Today my mother and I went fishing at the lake, and we caught a big fish weighing 5 kilograms."
19. Happiness is more like a cramp. It comes as soon as it is said to make people obsessed with it. It leaves just as quickly as it is said to leave. It is so simple, not sloppy at all, and there is no time to even shed tears. Pain is more like a dog-skin plaster, which just disappears. It's so close to you, maybe others can't see it when you're covered with clothes, but right now, it's close to you all the time, and you can feel its presence every second. It's not that happiness is too short, it's that we are too sensitive to pain.
20. After graduation, some people are disappointed, some are lovelorn, and some are missing. Some people get rich, some gain weight, and some get wedding invitations. These things will continue to happen one after another, and the tacit life trajectory will come to an end and a completely different life will begin. We don’t expect to get together again one day, but we hope we never forget our initial looks. After all, we have all broken into each other’s lives.
21. I stayed in a hotel yesterday. The Nongfu Spring mineral water in the hotel room cost 18 yuan a bottle. I bought two bottles outside and spent four yuan. I exchanged the two bottles of Civet Cat in the hotel for Prince. During the ward rounds Without being discovered, this is called economic acumen, and you can get 9 times the price difference instantly. Now I am drinking Nongfu Spring which costs 18 yuan a bottle and it feels so good!
22. Speaking of your appearance, I don’t want to attack you. You go to the zoo to see if there is any suitable job for you. If you run around on the street like this, you will easily be shot by the police. 2. I think people should have two extremes in appearance, one is the extremely beautiful kind, and the other is like you! 3. The length is both euphemistic and thrilling. 4. It’s great to meet you, no need to go to the zoo!
23. I am who I am. If you can’t stand it, don’t enter my world. I am not gentle, I have a bad temper, I am easily angry, I am easily jealous, I am easily heartbroken, I am prone to random thoughts, I am willful, I don’t want to talk when I am angry, I will keep giggling when I am happy, I will keep it in my heart when I am wronged, I want you to know that I care. I like to listen to sad songs when I am sad. I like to share with the people I care about when I am happy.
24. My English was not good in junior high school, so the teacher gave me a female deskmate who was good at English. One day in a self-study class, I had an impression of "hunband" when I was looking at some words, but I wasn't sure about it, so I asked my deskmate about the word: "Wife?" "No, husband." I always thought it was my wife, so I fell in love with her. : "Wife!" Not to be outdone, she said: "Husband!" "Wife!" "Husband!" the voice got louder. After shouting for 2 minutes, I found that the classroom suddenly became quiet...
25. "In the dead of night, the curtains complain:" "I am exposed to the wind and sun every day. Brother Quilt, you are so happy. You sleep with your mistress in your arms every day." "Quilt:" "Happiness? Do you know how long it takes for a fart? Break up? """
26. Just when 10086 called me to inquire about business, I picked up the call out of boredom. Asked: Sir, I see that your mobile phone bills have fluctuated greatly recently. Is it because you are traveling long distances in other places or because you are using other numbers? I answered: I was dumped... The customer service lady couldn't help but laugh.
QQ personality signature humorous
QQ personalized signature humorous
1. If God gives me a brain like a genius, I will definitely open up a new world.
2. Since you are no longer shameless, why is it still on you?
3. I love you and always follow the law of infinite non-recurrence.
4. Give me back the love I gave you intact, and I will leave.
5. Have you seen my cleverness? Hey, you are really a fool
6. If you don’t have money, what can you do to keep your beloved horse?
7. Take some courage and fight to the end with this muddy world
8. I never believed that we could still be friends after breaking up.
9. I’m really sorry to let you know what kind of person I am.
10. I threw away everything about you and turned around like this.
11. You said you love me, but this sentence sounds ridiculous.
12. Don’t come to me if you have nothing to do, and don’t come to me if you have something to do.
13. Please get out of my world, I decided to love myself well
14. If you can’t be beaten away or scolded, this is what the fuck is love.
15. Looking at your face, I feel like vomiting.
16. In my world, you are the supporting role
17. Stop pretending to be hypocritical in front of me. I hate people who lie the most.
18. If God promises to give me one more second, then I will love you
19. As long as we have a strong heart, then nothing will be a problem
20. If the sky is affectionate, the sky will also grow old. If you touch my best friend, she will die early.
21. Time takes away our lives, and we slowly move towards death.
22. Everyone commits two, but please pay attention to the number of times you commit two.
23. If a man takes away your hypocrisy, who still believes in love these days?
24. There is no need to say anything more. Now that you have left, you will never look back.
25. It’s not that you abandoned me, but that I gave up on you.
26. How shameless does a person have to be to be like you?
27. Women, be stronger. You can still live well without him.
28. After we broke up, I realized that you don’t deserve my love at all.
29. Those who always want to win will lose, and those who are not afraid of losing will win.
30. Put away your masked hypocrisy and get out of my world.
31. Your current attitude will determine whether you are a person or a waste ten years from now.
32. The story of Spirited Away tells us: Don’t eat too much, or you will turn into a pig.
33. The simplest happiness is to do what you like.
34. I have always kept my hair short, because long hair makes me short-sighted? So I generally have a wide range of knowledge
35. The efficiency of class is directly proportional to the number of levels I play games.
36. Look at my miserable life with the most ordinary eyes
37. Cinderella doesn’t have the glass slipper, so I can’t become a princess.
38. Your figure is really good. When Sun Wukong sees it, he will reward you with three sticks.
39. Only now do I realize that if I didn’t study hard in school, I can still read and write now.
40. When I came to this world, I had no intention of going back alive, but I also want you to clear the way first.
41. Fatty, you are a bitch, always messing with my relationship with food.
42. If you think you are beautiful, you are probably overthinking it.
43. There must be a road before the car reaches the mountain, but it’s a pity that Toyota can’t stop.
44. You are brothers who grew up wearing a pair of pants. Can you lend me a pair?
45. When the teacher says not to bring anything that has nothing to do with the exam, is it okay if I don’t bring it myself?
46. The ancients said that men and women cannot be intimate, so please stay away from me.
47. If you never leave me, I will definitely die.
48. I fell in love with you, but the alarm clock became our third party.
49. There used to be a person who spoke ill of me behind my back. Later he died.
50. When I passed by you, my clothes were all scratched and I didn’t see a single spark.
QQ personality humorous signature
1. It is better to have unqualified thoughts and morals than to have no thoughts at all.
2. Winter is coming, and I accidentally washed the quilt.
3. Squatting on the roadside to watch girls, lying on the bed and playing with little girls.
4. Your vacation is less than ten days, please top up in time.
5. Luck is when opportunity happens to hit your hard work.
6. Wen can read books and squeeze into the subway, but Wu can squeeze into the subway and read books.
7. The road is long and long, so let’s fight it.
8. Life is easy, life is easy. Life isn't fucking easy.
9. Happiness has just begun, but sadness has already lurked.
10. Sleep is the best tool to test the teacher’s teaching level.
11. In the eyes of fools, the wisdom of smart people is worthless.
12. You are too dark, I am embarrassed to call you an idiot.
13. When you want to cut both sides of the knife, there is only one knife.
14. Teacher, I met a robber, but my homework was robbed.
15. It’s been a long time since anyone has made cowhide look so fresh and refined!
16. I don’t know my love rival, nor my lover.
17. The weather is so cold that it’s like a joke, and life is like nonsense.
18. I am a civilized person, and all swear words have been disinfected with saliva.
19. Who can go 90 minutes without shooting - Chinese National Football Team
20. My ID is fake, please don’t believe that I am a liar.
21. I am the most honest person. Never tell lies. Except this sentence.
22. Those who always say that others are pretending, you are not even pretending.
23. People always make mistakes, otherwise the right path will be overcrowded.
24. If my brother has a good psychological quality, it’s like he has no psychological quality.
25. If you don’t have medical insurance or life insurance, don’t act bravely after dark.
26. It’s not that we fat people are too fat, but that you thin people are malnourished.
27. If you never meet a boy you like, you can only pretend to be heterosexual first.
28. It is not a tragedy that Durex goes bankrupt; it is a tragedy that Durex goes bankrupt.
29. Fortunately, I am fat and can squeeze my belly when I am bored.
30. Study should be added, pride should be subtracted, opportunities should be multiplied, and laziness should be eliminated.
31. After studying for more than ten years, I think it is easier to get along in kindergarten.
32. I really hope that the snacks at home can have the same regenerative ability as geckos.
33. There is only one you in the world, there is no need to be someone else’s interruption.
34. If you don’t like me, you can choose to commit suicide or pretend to be blind.
35. The most painful love triangle in the world: I love food, fat loves me.
36. Your teeth are like the stars in the sky, bright in color and far apart.
37. There are only two kinds of men in this world: the ones no one wants and the ones who steal your head.
38. Life is like a news broadcast. You cannot escape by changing the channel.
39. Many people climb to the top of the ladder, only to find that the ladder is set against the wrong wall.
40. Equality between men and women is just rhetoric. If it doesn’t work, try entering the women’s restroom.
41. It is the most basic responsibility and obligation of a man to turn a girl into a woman.
42. Sister Lin did not die of illness. In fact, she fell to death from the sky.
43. You will never know how many times a person who is angry with you has put up with you?
44. God, did you let summer and winter have sex? What a hell of a weather!
45. Considering your low IQ, I won’t say anything to you.
46. Each of us is a dreamer. When the dream is gone, all that is left is homesickness.
47. I don’t agree with your point of view, but I will defend to the death your right not to speak.
48. Men like to move around when they are drunk, while women like to move around when they are drunk.
49. It doesn’t matter if I have a baby, I’m just worried about buying a building, losing my whole family, and having to make money to pay off the loan.
50. If you have to ask me if I really love you, I just want to say: you will know in the future!
51. When there is thunder, stand under the big tree and say to God, I want to cross over too!
52. It’s not your fault that you want to be a mistress, but it’s your fault that you want to study in college!
53. I will definitely not feel anything if I drink a pound of liquor, because I will be dead after drinking half a pound of liquor.
54. The farthest distance in the world is not that we are separated by the sky, but that we are classmates in different rooms.
55. Damn it, I got complained! The customer said that the mp3 file I gave him had no images!
56. Female Secretary: Boss, your wife called and she said she wanted to kiss you on the phone.
57. When you have no money, eat wild vegetables at home; when you have money, eat wild vegetables in the hotel.
58. Do excellent work that is neither busy nor idle, and live a wonderful life that is neither salty nor dull.
59. I wish all lovers in the world are long-lost brothers and sisters, (this is too cruel)
60. When I was young, my deskmate always said that I was too manly. I told him that if I can’t get married, I’ll look for you.
61. I am a special person. I am an ordinary person, so I am a particularly ordinary person.
62. If there is a power outage, I will go find you. Why? Because you will shine.
63. Why is my heart beating so fast? It’s because I have a thick and thin throat.
64. The most painful thing in life is that after going through a super storm, not only did you not see the rainbow, but you also caught a cold. .
65. Are you angry? Is it hydrogen or oxygen? If it's nitrogen, just squat in the corner and explode.
66. The multiple-choice questions in life are much more difficult than those on the test paper. The test paper can guarantee that one of them is correct.
67. The topic of the exam essay was what is courage. I handed in the paper and there were only five words in the essay. This is courage.
68. We are all good students. We will not fall in love or elope. We will accompany you through the loudspeaker. My surname is Zeng in Class 1, Grade 2.
69. People who don’t understand me, please don’t use your B-thinking to evaluate me. We are not familiar with each other, so you are not qualified.
70. Do you think it would be okay to have three abortions a month? Your girlfriend? no. It's my bike.
71. When the college entrance examination results came out, the teacher took a deep breath and said to me that I actually didn’t pass the exam, which is a blessing to you and the university.
72. In our love, I have always played the role of loving you. When we break up, don’t ask me why we broke up, ask yourself.
73. I heard that people who make typos all the time have higher IQs. Because my IQ is too high, my hands can't keep up with the rhythm of my brain.
74. It is normal to eat the metal wire used to clean the pot at breakfast. This shows that our logistics strictly follows the order of cleaning the pot first and then cooking.
75. When you are in a bad mood, go to the supermarket, shake the Coke, pound the rice vat, break off Dove, squeeze instant noodles, and tie condoms.
76. How to make the person you like chase you? You stand in front of him and look at him affectionately, then give him a mouthful and then run away. Believe me, he will definitely chase you.
77. The three most painful things for a man are: being caught by his lover shopping for groceries with his wife; being caught by his wife shopping with a sympathetic lover; being blocked in an alley by his wife and lover at the same time.
78. If I tell you a secret to making a fortune, don’t tell anyone else! If you fold your money in half, does it double? Ha, go punish your friends!
79. Male: Every time I miss you, the stars will shed a tear. This is how the ocean is formed. Woman: I fart every time I miss you. This is how the ozone layer is formed.
80. My aunt arrived, my belly was crying, I went to the toilet several times, and my strength was gone (liao). It was a long week, and my aunt left (liao), and I was bouncing around again.
81. If burning incense for one year can help me meet you, burning incense for three years can help me get to know you, and burning incense for ten years can make me cherish you, for the sake of happiness in my next life, I am willing to convert to Catholicism.
82. Men’s development outlook: play with beautiful women, associate with wealthy women, show love to powerful women, talk to smart women, cooperate with successful women, sleep with healthy women, and marry ordinary women.
83. A: What is the most painful thing in the world? B: Go to work. More painful? Work every day. No matter how painful it is? work overtime. More painful. Working overtime for nothing!
84. Nowadays, love is really high. When we meet, I will ask you for money. If you don’t have money, you will shake your head. You will also say that you are a bachelor. If you have money, it will be right. You will get engaged immediately and start feasting. The reality is really too subtle. Love is actually played by money. .
One sentence QQ personalized signature is sad
Many friends are born to like to be funny and funny. They have a good foundation for comedy. What they say can make people happy and laugh. Here are some funny QQ personalized signatures with one sentence specially compiled for you, so that you will be happy to see them. .
Funny QQ personality signature in one sentence (selected)
1) Happiness is to hide your sadness and smile at everyone.
2) A person’s life is very good, no one needs to come in, because I have a strong heart.
3) Don’t use pretense as an excuse, you can see through it at a glance because you are so wretched.
4)
5) Your ruthlessness and unrighteousness will never hurt my sentimental and chivalrous attitude.
6) Whoever wants to start from scratch, open a barber shop and start from scratch
7) I can’t cry because I draw Wearing eyeliner and mascara
8) Who can come back alive after coming to this world?
9) Pay the phone bill Only then did I realize that my words are worth a thousand pieces of gold
10) It’s not his fault that he fell in love with you, it was because he was blind
<x3 >11) I want to be your heart. If you annoy me, I won’t beat it.
12) "The Girls We Chased in Those Years" Now the Male and Female Leads Are Chasing at the Box Office
13) Humans live to be troubled, otherwise we wouldn’t call them humans.
14) My squirrel is being played like a ball by you, why are you still playing with it? Call it "Pikachu"
15) If Google and Baidu merge, will it be called
Funny QQ personalized signature in one sentence (popular)
1) The cutest thing in the world is a dog Dog, you are not as cute as it
2) People who raise the middle finger are always great, because they don’t know a secret
3) You are the first to know that goat milk can be drunk. Are you better than those who drink cow's milk?
4) I originally wanted to talk about it, but now it has become... A big fat man
5) My hands are not dirty at all, I just kill chickens every day if I have nothing to do
6) There is no sun It is dark during the day, but it is still dark at night when there is a moon
7) Walking at night is the darkest society, and no one is more terrifying
8) Life in kindergarten is the best. The older you get, the less you know how to behave.
9) My heart is like a snake and a scorpion, all designed to match your human-faced animal heart. Why not? Willing
10) If you don’t do things perfectly, you will never know how to give yourself a step down
11) Because I think of you smile, so I kept vomiting
<x3 >12) You are like the moon, with a coldness that I will never be able to withstand.
13) I walked away quietly, and then I realized that you had really gone away.
14) I don’t seem to have changed because you have changed too much.
15) When two people break up, it’s not because love left you, but because you abandoned it.
Funny QQ personalized signature in one sentence (latest)
1) Others have ADHD, as if their mouths are constantly moving
< x3> 2) I told my deskmate that my deskmate is a pig; he said that your deskmate is a pig
3) My back is itchy, please help me scratch it Scratch, don’t use it to spread its wings
4) The teacher confiscated my phone, and a week later I found that the phone was out of battery
5) I My youth has not passed yet, I just turned twenty this year
6) If you don’t like me, you can pretend to be blind or commit suicide
< x3>7) I don’t know why I caught a cold the next day, only to realize that I didn’t cover myself with a quilt
8) The alarm clock will wake me up tomorrow, and I won’t be naughty in bed tomorrow. Be good and earn money to support you.
9) Sometimes I feel that I have become ugly, and I worry too much when I take my ID card.
10) There are such bad people. , professional ethics has plummeted without turning around
11) Now Chatting with you doesn't mean we know each other. Maybe I won't know who you are tomorrow.
12) Missing is a disease, lovesickness is when I fall ill, but you don’t know where you are.
13) The beef noodles contain radish instead of beef, and your wife is not included in the wife cake.
14) Brother, your wife today is not as beautiful as yesterday.
15) I met my mother-in-law when I was in junior high school, but I just didn’t dare to recognize her.
16) If you want to lose weight, just follow the people in Hyun Dance and dance all the time without eating.
17) Short people don’t like Jay Chou, because his first sentence is always: Ouch!
18) Love is Who doesn't know how to play this game? Come here and teach you a trick.
19) My head is small, so all the words and numbers don’t come in.
20) Every teacher commits a crime, and the crime is child abuse.
21) The right path in the world is the vicissitudes of life, go to hell with that little bastard.
22) Examinations teach students to cheat, and teachers teach students to commit crimes.
23) Is your face more important than your insides? It looks good, but actually it’s all rotten on the inside.
24) The reason why Big Big Wolf can't eat sheep is that other wolves kill them directly, so he has to take them home.
25) The shrimp says to the dragon, you are a dragon; the dragon says to the shrimp, you are a shrimp. So the dragon beat the shrimp to death.
26) What you said makes sense, and every sentence is relevant.
27) You are such a knowledgeable person, but you just don’t know what is good or bad.
28) It doesn’t matter if you have three thousand enemies, being at ease is a good thing.
29) I give you fakes but you take them seriously, I give you gifts and you get addicted to them.
30) Be patient and push forward, but take a step back and do even harder.
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